the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
