I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
