i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
