It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
