Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
