I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
