I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
someone owes me an orgasm
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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