please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
