Swine flu. Run for my life!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
