i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
