This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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