The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
A+ Viking dick
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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