I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
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