The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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