Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
