I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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