Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
