summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
