Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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