It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
