Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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