i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
where am i from again
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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