Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
