But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
