What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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