I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
