i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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