Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
