the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
