There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
