Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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