You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
