True but thats because hes a fetus.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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