You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm so fucking centered right now
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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