erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
