Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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