I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
