i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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