Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
