whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
