Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
