once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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