i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
