I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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