last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
