I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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