The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
