I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
