We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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