he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
