He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
a search helicopter?!
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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