bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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