Dual....:-)
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
