So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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